Posted by
Scottie on Sunday, April 13, 2008 8:34:52 AM
Most guys haven’t a clue what women want. They think looking like Tom Cruise or Clint Eastwood, driving a hot sports car and wearing nice clothes are what attract the fairer sex. To a certain extent they are right, but that is not enough to close the deal. Since most of us aren’t handsome and overly endowed financially and physically, I offer the following sure-fire way to a woman’s heart for your consideration.
If you want to win a woman’s heart, cast the following spell of enchantment: ”I am an available house broken male specimen. I may have little to offer, but I offer all I have and I come with several desirable options you may find to your liking. I not only empty the trash without being told, I actually return and put a new bag in the trashcan as well. I know my socks do not belong on the living room floor and that it won’t kill me to do a load of laundry or dishes. I can and will refill the ice cube trays, kill the random spider and administer a proper foot massage when the situation requires. I replace the empty roll of toilet paper and actually install the new one on the roller without supervision. I know a broken heel on your favorite pair of shoes is a code red emergency and in such situations two pairs of more expensive shoes is the only proper antidote; let's go! I'll drive. Finally, I know there is only one proper position for a toilet seat: DOWN!”
Use caution when uttering this spell my dear friends and don't underestimate its power. It will melt the hardest of femine hearts. If you can utter this spell with sincerity, you will become the most desirable male any woman has ever met. Just a little advice from your Old Dutch Uncle; take it for what it’s worth.
Scottie