Posted by
Scottie on Sunday, June 10, 2007 8:56:21 PM
I have been at the height of my mental abilities for about twenty years. I’ve nurtured my poor brain with good books, deep thought, challenging puzzles, chess and the intricacies of capitalism and taxation on the practical level. And this went seemingly unnoticed by my boys. In fact, my boys are mystified at just how smart I’ve become of late.
I started becoming dumber about a decade ago. I was just an old fogy with outdated clothing, questionable taste in music, and incomprehensible books to them. I didn’t have the slightest inkling of what was cool, what was popular, what terms in their hip new vernacular meant. And God forbid I should even try to bridge the gap. To them I was just too stupid to get it. I was often vindicated by their friends. Many times I overheard the other kids that came and went referring to me as a pretty cool guy, but the boys weren’t having it.
Now they are out of the house and running into the usual brick walls that we all must encounter in order to learn. They’ve been exposed to the facts of life that I patiently explained to them, but the lessons seem to be hitting home with a lot more clarity lately. If you don’t pay the light bill, they will come and shut the power off. If you spend all your money on the weekend partying, you will run out of groceries and smokes before your next paycheck arrives. Cars need more than gas to keep running dependably. Bosses don’t care why you aren’t at work on time, they care that you aren’t at work on time.
I’ve watched them struggle with these simple lessons with amusement, enjoying the knowledge that the lessons I imparted to them long ago come echoing back to them as they sit in one predicament after another. They never admit it to me, which is part of the amusement. I am far more connected to them than they know. I’ve studied them at great length for years. They don’t yet realize how predictable they are to me; just like I am to them I suppose. But they’re getting there.
They are realizing that ignoring the values I’ve taught them comes at a price. I’m becoming smarter by the day; my views are making more and more sense to them. Even the Missus (one of my more prolific information sources) worries less about them as the inevitable hard knocks they suffer has toughened them and built their confidence. The best part is they now come to me for advice and actually listen.
I was having a discussion (shooting the bull, really) with my eldest son the other night over a pool table and a pitcher of beer. He was bouncing a few ideas off of me and it dawned on me that he wasn’t so much asking advice as checking to make sure he was thinking the problem through properly. He’s starting to see the light. Being a single parent will do that to you.
The conversation turned to the age old question: "What I would have done differently if I were his age again, but knew what I knew now?" I wanted to say “I wish I had listened to my father more,” but I stifled the impulse and told him, “I really wouldn’t change a thing. Everything I have now is a result either directly or indirectly of decisions I made along the way. You are one of the results of those decisions I made a long time ago; and I certainly wouldn’t want to contemplate what my life would have been like without you in it.”
I think he was a little shocked to realize that I had already sifted this idea in much more depth than he had. I’m sure he had been mulling over his mistakes of the past few years, wishing he had done something different. I could see it cross his face as he realized that I was still a step or two ahead of him on the path to wisdom. But his shock was more than matched by mine when he said, “I wish I had listened to you more, Dad; it sure would have saved me a lot of problems. You really did know what you were talking about; at least on the important stuff.” Genetics? I don’t know, but I’ll drink to that.
Scottie