I agree with the Missus. "You're a good guy, Scottie.! Now, explain why you call her Missus if she wants to marry you - which means you are not married yet. That would make her the "Missus in waiting." – Sandra Wise
It’s a fair point worthy of a proper response. I wanted to pop off a short answer, but as I sat to compose it, I was struck by the complexity of the real answer. So some history is in order. When I came along, Tish had been a single parent to two boys for quite some time. Without a strong masculine role model, the boys were basically out of control and operating without a clue as to what proper male behavior was. Her authority was non-existent, and the house was in chaos. She asked me to take the boys under my wing, realizing that something had to be done, and I agreed.
Notwithstanding the inevitable friction this caused initially, I undertook to bring order to the household. The first thing that had to stop was the boys were not allowed to call their mother by her first name. I insisted they call her Mom, or Mother, or Ma’am. In order to reinforce the importance of recognizing that they were not peers with their mother, I took to addressing her as Mrs. Miller in a formal fashion to reinforce her superiority and referring to her as The Missus to the boys. I also made it clear that she was in charge of the household and her orders were to be followed not only by the boys, but also by me as well.
This clear delineation of authority, and my uncompromising support for it soon changed the tone in the household. By seeing my respectful treatment of their mother, and my insistence that they do the same, the boys came to appreciate their mother’s inherent authority. It took a while, but by consistently reinforcing good and correcting inappropriate behavior, the house slowly settled into an orderly place that was a sanctuary for The Missus rather than a second battle front in her life. Her boys came to appreciate the order in their lives.
Now the boys are gone out into the world. But my respect for The Missus hasn’t diminished, and her title has become second nature to me whenever I am in front of others. So I see no inconsistency in referring to her as such when I present her to the world in my blog. She was Mrs. Miller; she will soon be Mrs. Scott. But she is The Missus in this household, and the boys and I are better men for it.
Scottie